Thursday, October 21, 2010

beta hell

Is truly hell. That's the only way to describe it. The emotional roller coaster that we've been on for the last 48 hours...I honestly wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I went from complete dread---dreading peeing on that stick and seeing another BFN to complete joy and shock when I saw that it was positive to absolutely terrified when I did see those negative tests to extreme nervousness when I heard my (low) beta number. is exhausting just to replay that all in my mind...

Speaking of exhaustion, I am definitely feeling it. I'm sure it is a combination of stress, fear, lack of sleep and, hopefully, pregnancy. All I want to do is sleep.

I had a little scare this morning...when I went to the bathroom the toilet paper was pink. I was convinced it was over. Positive. Sure of it. But that was all of the blood that I saw. I put a fresh liner in immediately and am going on 9 hours and there still isn't anything on it. I'm hoping and praying it was just irritation from the progesterone supps.

I really just wish it was Friday afternoon and we knew what was going on. This limbo is killer.


  1. You have been in my thoughts nearly nonstop. The fact that you only had the spotting once, and it has not returned or worsened is fantastic. I have had implantation bleeding with all of my pregnancies. I guess only time will tell and I know nothing will make this wait time easier for you. Just know that there are lots of us thinking of you and pulling for you.

  2. AH!!! Sending you all I've got.