Monday, October 25, 2010

bad news

Of course. Because why would anything ever work out?

My beta didn't rise properly. It only went up to 32.8. It should have been up to 55.8.

My nurse said the same lines of bullshit I've been hearing for a week...we just don't know...we have no is still possible to work out, albeit a slim possibility...there is nothing anyone can do....


I killed my baby. Its over. I know it. I tried for 2.5 years to get to this point. I gave it everything I had and then I end up killing my own baby.


  1. Sweetie, you didn't cause this. It just happened but it is certainly nothing you did or didn't do. I'm so sorry that things didn't work out this time and you are in my thoughts and prayers. At least the one good thing about this cycle is that you had a positive, which is a first and can give you hope for the future. But grieving this loss is certainly understandable, so give yourself time for that too.

  2. I've been following but not commenting the past several days but I just want to say that its not your fault. I've been feeling your pain because its exactly what we went through with our only positive, (which came through IVF), only my betas did start doubling so we thought we were okay. Then we had a 6 week ultrasound expecting to see a heartbeat and there was no baby, just a blighted ovum. They said that the baby stopped growing but my body still thought it was pregnant. Its still a loss and you should grieve it like you would any other loss. But please don't blame yourself, there is absolutely nothing you did to cause this. They told me it could have been DH poor quality sperm, like that makes it better if we blame my poor DH. I agree they should just tell you how it is. They did the same thing with me, never really said it was over. Just said stop taking the progesterone and let my body do what it wants. There is hope for the future, you can get pregnant again and it can be a happy and healthy nine months. Grieve your loss but don't lose hope!