Monday, May 31, 2010

Happy Memorial Day!

I hope everyone this important day--and I hope everyone has the day off, too :) Love 3 day weekends!

The Coach is actually home today...a whole day away from the office, unbelievable! And fantastic! We've just been hanging out at home, cleaning, watched some baseball and Band of Brothers. We need to do a little shopping but I just can't seem to get motivated.

Third night of stims last night..everything seems to be going well. I had one of my "episodes" last night so that wasn't fun at all. Basically, once every 3-4 months it happens. What "it" actually is, I'm not sure...but during the night I start to have this horrific pain in my upper abdomen, right behind my rib cage. The bones of my rib cage actually hurt and the pain goes into my upper back. It is killer. I can't lay down, I can't sit, I usually end up getting sick from the pain. It is absolutely miserable. It happened to be me last night at 3:00am. I was finally able to go back to sleep around 4:30. Good thing today is a Holiday :/

Hope everyone is enjoying some great weather, great BBQs and time with family and friends!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

I'm drugged up!

First shot of Follistim this cycle...CHECK! Easy as pie. The Coach and I went to dinner last night at this great little bar/grille down the street from our house. Because we live in such an awesome neighborhood, we knew just about everyone in the place so a quick dinner turned into a few hours worth of catching up with friends and watching the baseball game. Sometime I'll have to tell y'all about our great neighborhood, but to sum it up, we live in the historical district, just a few blocks from downtown, with huge old houses with great front porches, great friends all around, and great restaurants and a fabulous martini bar just blocks away. I truly adore this place! Anyway, before I knew it was almost 9:00. I'm supposed to shoot up at 9:00! So I gave The Coach "the look" and he quickly got the check. Ha! Before I knew it we were home, I was standing at my stabbing station, with a needle two inches from my belly.

How I hate needles. I mean HATE needles. For me it isn't an issue of the pain or anything like, that would be too easy. For me, I think too much into it, just like everything else in the world. Nothing is supposed to penetrate your skin. Just not natural. Your skin is a barrier. It is meant to protect your body. And now I'm willingly breaking that barrier? ::shudder:: So once I get over that mental issue, I'm fine. My first cycle with injects last fall, I freaked out when I had to give myself the shot. FREAKED OUT. I kept holding the needle an inch away from my body, getting it close and pulling it away sobbing "I just can't do it". After many pre-game pep talks and my refusal to buy into his motivations, The Coach got very aggravated with me, walked away from the stabbing station and within seconds, I had stabbed myself. Take that Coach! This time around, however, it was over as soon as it began. But again, The Coach had to leave the ballpark before I could step up to the plate.

So tonight is round two...druggin' up with another 150 ius of Follistim at 9pm sharp. As I've previously mentioned, The Coach had to fly to Florida for a quick recruiting trip for the day and he should be home around 10pm so I guess I won't have to ask him to vacate the ballpark so I can continue to battle at this at-bat.

Friday, May 28, 2010

big day today!

I start stims tonight! Less than 12 hours! Woo-hoo! Last night I got my little stabbing station all set up..pulled out the rubbing alcohol and the cotton swabs and grabbed the Sharps container (and gave it a good shake--it is crazy to me that all of the needles rattling around in there are actually mine). The Coach looked at me like I was crazy..."Babe, you don't start until tomorrow night..your meds aren't even here yet." Yeah, are exactly right, darling..I start tomorrow and I have to prepare.

My meds are being delivered this afternoon between 2:00-3:00. 4 cartridges of Follistim, the hCG trigger shot and progesterone suppositories--fun stuff! All I can say is thank God for Rx don't even want to know what all of that would cost without it (or, for that matter, what it cost even with it). I told The Coach he needs to get home ASAP today. The Follstim needs to be refrigerated and while it does come in a neat little insulated is going to be a HOT day in the deep south and well, I worry. About everything. Of course The Coach said he'll be done when he's done and everything will be fine. And I know he is right. But dangit, I want those meds in my fridge, not sitting on my front porch. Le sigh.

In other is almost the weekend baby! I LIVE for the weekend! And this weekend is extra special because it is a 3 day weekend! Yay! The Coach and I don't have many big plans.. he is flying out tomorrow to go on a quick recruiting trip (he'll be back late tomorrow night) and our lack of plans is just fine with me. A relaxing weekend, at home, with my dogs, in the AC with my Follistim shots! Bliss :)

Ok, so, the next time I update, I will officially be STIMMING! Yea...I really need to calm down about that...I can see The Coach rolling his eyes at me from across campus. Last night we discussed our own personal gameplan for this cycle and that mainly involved me remaining calm, relaxed, positive and hopeful. We also have a vision for this cycle...of knocking one right on outta the park. So right now, I'm picturing myself in the batting cages, gearing up, getting ready, getting in the groove... hitting the (Infertility) ball hard and far!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

the game of LIFE first ever blog post. Guess I've finally joined the 21st century. Let me give you a little background...Hi! I'm Heather, I'm "The Coach's Wife". That would make my husband... The Coach. The Coach and I live in the south, he coaches college athletics, I work in college administration and we have 3 great dogs. Life is good, right? Absolutely life is good...just missing one small thing. A baby. You know, The Coach's Kid. Yeah. We need one of those. Easy enough right...go to the store, pick one out? Er, no. Better yet..grab a bottle of tequila and have a fun filled night with The Coach (when he is actually in town, that is). Sounds perfect, right? Umm..about that. We tried that for over a year--I still cringe at the sight of Jose. Wasn't working for us. We struck out. Of every inning. For a year. The ball never left the park. Scoreless after 12. You get the idea.

So, what's next you ask? Well, The Coach and I decided we needed help. A strength coach, if you will. Someone to get us through. Tell us what we had to do to make our bodies able to give us that Coach's Kid. In the Infertility world a "strength coach" is known as an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist). Basically, you pay a doctor to get you knocked up. There goes the booze! So, in June of 2009, The Coach and I first met with our RE. Now...of course we always hoped the booze and a little well-timed fun would do the trick for us, but I guess in the back of my mind, I always knew that wouldn't cut it. You see, I've had "female problems" for years. In the form of huge, painful, obnoxious ovarian cysts. I've had to have surgery to have these buggers removed on more than one occasion. All of my surgeons and doctors had previously sworn up and down that those cysts wouldn't cause problems for The Coach and I when it came time to have a baby. Boy were they wrong.

So, in our first appointment with our RE we went over a ton of information, medical histories, goals, life plans, and on and on. Then I had an ultrasound. Guess what the ultrasound revealed? Another damn cyst. Then we knew we had to create a gameplan. We went through a whole gamete of testing, procedures and even a surgery for myself and The Coach. Then we were ready to proceed with infertility treatments. Sparing you all of the details, we did three treatments (one that involved a fertility med in the form of a pill --Clomid-- and precisely timed intercourse, another which involved Clomid and an IUI --intrauterine insemination...basically the turkey baster method and the third and final was injectable medications and the IUI) all of which resulted in negative pregnancy tests. Fantastic. Because of The Coach's job and demanding schedule, we then had to take a loooooong break for him to get through his season. Well, here we are, almost June of 2010...two years after we started trying to make that Coach's Kid and still we have nothing. Except for a few more surgical scars, tons of miles on our vehicles from trips to the RE and thousands of dollars out of our bank accounts. Fun times.

June of 2010 has also brought the end of The Coach's most recent season which has landed us right back on the treatment train. Back to our gameplan. How are we going to beat this team..this rival..this opponent called Infertility. We've scouted, we know our strengths and our weaknesses, we know where to hit Infertility hard and where a little slack can be given. We have our newest plan of attack to win this game.

So, starting tomorrow, I'll be back to shooting up. Yup, that's right, I'll be stick needles into my body...don't worry, it is just a few fertility meds..nothing serious [insert eye roll here]. Our gameplan in a nutshell: shoot up for 6 days and go back to the RE for a monitoring appointment (blood work and another ultrasound). And go from there.

That's our life in a nutshell. It is always about the game. The opponent. Being victorious. In one way or another. You know, if you really think about it, pretty much everything in life is a game. You have to know which player to put in and when. You have know which plays to run in any given circumstance. You have to know when to throw the rise ball and when to throw the curve.