That's the only way to describe me...broken. My body is broken. My heart is broken. Any positive spirit I ever had is broken. My dreams are broken.
We only got 4 eggs at retrieval this morning. 4! This leads my RE to believe we have other issues..she said it was obvious from my u/s on Wednesday that I had what appeared to be 10-12 mature follies. 4 follies contained mature eggs, the rest were way, way too immature. She thinks this has been our problem all along. I didn't talk to the RE after the procedure, The Coach did, and that's what he told me. He also told me she knew I'd be disappointed but from what she could tell the eggs all looked "good". Couldn't say whether or not they were really mature. I won't know any more until we receive our fertilization report tomorrow morning. Needless to say, I'm not expecting much. No way will 4 eggs be enough to be mature, fertilize, divide and make it to my "tentatively" scheduled transfer on Wednesday. And we've already scheduled our WTF appointment with my RE. Apparently she isn't hopeful either.
And, another horrific part of this experience was that the anesthesia didn't work at all and I was completely awake for the whole procedure. Painful as hell. I can't even describe.
I feel so totally worthless.