tomorrow

I have an appointment at the RE's office tomorrow morning. It will be the first time I've been there since the morning of my negative beta that confirmed the pregnancy was lost. I'm absolutely dreading it. I can't believe we are back at square one and I'm going to have to go through all of this again...maybe even go through it all more than once.

I know the receptionist and the nurses will be sympathetic. I know they will look at me with pity and I hate that. I really should be going in for my first ultrasound and instead I'm having blood drawn to see if we can figure out why my baby died. How depressing.

I still don't know if I want the results of the Thrombosis Profile to show us a reason why we lost the baby or if I'd rather not have another complication and diagnosis to deal with. But I guess I don't get a choice. And the results will be the results and I'll have to deal...either way.