Saturday, August 14, 2010

3 down, 3 to go

3 nights of stims behind me...3 more nights in front of me before I go in for my first monitoring appointment. I'm PRAYING that I'll hear some good news on Tuesday. I'm so scared that something is going to happen. Last cycle was pretty much perfection..until my gallbladder..I'm just scared this cycle won't be as good as the last. I harbor a lot of guilt over that cycle..a lot of "what ifs"...I'm probably crazy, I have no real way of knowing this and I'm most likely wrong but I just feel, in my heart, like that was our BFP cycle. Maybe even our one and only IUI BFP cycle. Nuts, right?

Last night I had a bit of a panic attack. I started freaking out about the trigger. Not the shot, not the size of the needle, nothing like that..but rather, does The Coach remember how to do it? He hasn't given me a trigger shot since last October. So I gathered up all of the needles, the syringe, the bottle of Novarel and the bottle of sterile water. I found him in the living room, watching SportsCenter and, practically in tears, asked him if he remembered how to do it? He totally wasn't paying attention and I started to get freaked out. THAT was going to be what was wrong with this cycle. THAT is what is going to screw this cycle up. The damn trigger shot.

Of course he remembers how to do it. He's a smart guy. He was just more interested in the stuff going on with his beloved Brett Favre at the time.

I need a drink. Or 5.

(Don't worry...I won't actually have 5 drinks while cycling...)

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